Смотри, но не осуждай

Смотри, но не осуждай

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Шаг 35 в книге “Шаги к Знанию”, очередной обзор, содержит именно такой призыв: смотри, но не осуждай.

Этот Шаг призывает к рассмотрению последней недели занятий (Шагов 29-34), но без осуждения. Я должна просто рассматривать какие наставления, что я делала, и какие результаты я получила.

Мои записи к этому шагу свидетельствуют о том, что я была довольной своими результатами. Я писала о том, что я уже начинаю жить этими шагами, дышать им, они становятся неотъемлемой частью моей жизни, моей души. Знание говорит мне разными способами. Оно проявляется интуицией, проницательностью, неожиданным озарением, какой-то идей, мыслями, пробуждениями, даже тогда, когда я специально о чем-то каком не думаю. Я занимаюсь обедненными делами, а вдруг проникаюсь озарением истины. И я хочу держаться за это состояние как можно дольше.

Одно предложение особенно привлекло мое внимание. Оно гласит: Ты учишься объективно смотреть на свою жизнь без подавления собственных эмоций. 

Меня привлекло это предложение потому, что сегодня я смотрю на себя и пытаюсь себя не осудить. Есть черты моего характера, которые я хочу устранить, эмоции, которые я хочу раздавить потому, что, как мне кажется, они не соответствуют восстановлением Знания.

Смотри, но не осуждай

На фото, которое я выставила, есть дефект. Я его не сразу заметила. Я видела только сияющие лепестки яблоня, изумрудные листья, залитые солнцем, белый цветок на зеленом фоне. Затем, через какое-то время, заметила насекомое, такое черное, рогатое. И сразу другие мысли возникали, осуждающие. Тьфу, гадость какая! А почему собственно? Насекомые тоже являются частью природы, тоже имеют право на существование. Пусть сидит на цветке, я, что, раздавить его собираюсь? Да нет! Вот и не надо раздавить свои эмоции, может они гадкие, может они некрасивые, но он тоже имеют право на существование. С насекомом ничего сделать не могу, а со своими негативными эмоциями я могу поработать, развивать их в нечто более полезное и достойное. Я смотрю, но не осуждаю. И ты смотри, но не осуждай.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! We are students and advocates of the the New Message from God. We are members of a worldwide community. We seek to assist the world in successfully navigating difficult times ahead. We seek to assist the world in successfully emerging into a greater community of intelligent life. You will also find some poetry. Find out more about us here. Contact us here.

Looking But Not Judging

looking but not judging
Looking but not judging is the guidepost for the review in Step 35 of Steps to Knowledge. The Step says,

…in your review, use this as a guidepost: “I will look, but I will not judge.”

This review covers the past week of Steps from 29 thru 34, instructing me to do this with as little judgment as possible. To merely look and see what was instructed, what I did and what the result was.

My notes for this Step say, “all in all, it is amazing how Steps are beginning to live, take up residence in me if you will, on a daily basis and merge into an overall greater awareness about myself and life in general. And insights come uncalled for, or when I am not specifically thinking about or practicing Steps. For instance, the affirmation ‘I want to see a different world’ from Step 31. I Wish To See A World I Have Never Seen Before suddenly opened up yesterday as I was doing something else and became so clear and understandable. Like a flash of insight that I want to hold on to.

“And so it is as I move on through Steps, I realize that what has gone before remains with me, embedding itself in the core of my being, even without me being consciously aware of it, to erupt in moments of inspiration and insight when I can truly say that the truth is with me, I can feel it!”

I did this review on December 12, 2012 and was pretty upbeat about it.

One phrase spoke to me in particular. My notes begin with: “This idea that

the less you attempt to use your life, the more you will be able to understand it, appreciate it and work with its intrinsic mechanism for your greater advancement

is beginning to strike home for me.”

Today as I post on this review and reread the Step, a different passage speaks to me.

You are learning now to become objective about your life without repressing the content of your emotions. Instead of attempting to destroy one aspect of yourself, you are simply attempting to cultivate another.

This speaks to me because today I am looking at myself, but trying hard not to judge. I am trying to repress the content of my emotions, trying to squelch a part of me I do not like, a part of me that does not seem to resonate with Knowledge.

Looking but not judging

Look at the photo I posted. What do you see?

At first I saw luminescent white petals, sunlight illuminating the leaves, the contrast of sparkling white and fresh green. It took me quite a while to notice the bug. When I did, I thought it detracted from the beauty of the blossom. It seemed like a blemish on an otherwise unsullied soul. My thoughts became judgmental. Upon further reflection, however, I decided the bug had every right to its place on the flower. If I liken the bug to the emotions I wish to repress and destroy, I am given a different perspective. I may not like my emotions, but I do not need to repress or destroy them. I am looking but not judging.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! We are students and advocates of the the New Message from God. We are members of a worldwide community. We seek to assist the world in successfully navigating difficult times ahead. We seek to assist the world in successfully emerging into a greater community of intelligent life. You will also find some poetry. Find out more about us here. Contact us here.

Can I Make My Soul A Little Bigger?

This is the fifth post in a series of seven posts regarding Step 49 of Steps to Knowledge, where I am directed to review my practice of the first 48 steps.  I am sharing what I wrote at the time I did this review, with additional commentary as needed.

Step 29 – I will observe myself today to learn of Knowledge – “I remember I started exercising the day I did this Step.  When I’m doing more observing, less judging, Knowledge sneaks in in an unguarded moment.  I didn’t do very well in practicing exactly on the hour, but I practiced a good bit.  I commented on this Step.”  Starting to exercise was definitely a positive development.  Yes, I consider unguarded moments to be valuable.  I now use the alarm on my cell phone to remind me of hourly practice.  It’s a great conversation starter.  I don’t believe my private commentary on this step will be all that helpful.

Step 30 – Today I will observe my world – “Again, like the day before, I didn’t do the Step hourly, but I did it a lot, I considered the possibility of looking on the collapse of America without judgment.”  If you either know me, or read this blog, then you have observed or surmised that I have a certain amount of fondness for, or attachment to, the United States of America and the ideals it seeks to embody.  Contemplating the possibility of looking on the collapse of America without judgment took a great deal of stretching my soul beyond its previous dimensions.

Step 31 – I wish to see a world I have never seen before – “I recalled the ‘Judgment and love are opposites…’ step from ACIM [A Course in Miracles].  I also recalled the John Lennon song ‘Watchin’ the Wheels Go Round.’  Again, I wasn’t good on timely practice, but I practiced a lot.”  Lesson 352 in the Workbook for Students in A Course in Miracles is “Judgment and love are opposites.  From one come all the sorrows of the world.  But from the other comes the peace of God Himself.”  This is more of what I mean when I talk about the overlap between A Course in Miracles and Steps to Knowledge.  The actual title of the John Lennon song is just “Watching the Wheels.”  I find it much less angry than many earlier John Lennon songs.

Step 32 – The truth is with me.  I can feel it. – “I remember mocking this Step, saying the line from 2001 ‘The truth is with me, Dave.  I can feel it.’  I believe there was a big gap between the day I did 31 and the day I did 32.  Holidays?  I commented on this step.”  When Dave Bowman is shutting down the HAL 9000 computer in the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey, HAL says “My mind is going, Dave.  I can feel it.”  Did I need some comic relief? I shared my further commentary on Step 32 here.

Step 33 – I have a mission in my life to fulfill – “I remember not enjoying this step, because I was ok with the idea, but never seemed to fulfill it.  I remember thinking it could mean I would be a fanatic, my life organized around my great mission.  On the other hand, I might be fanatic, but normal about it.”  I seem to have issues with either being a fanatic, or being thought of as a fanatic.  Did St. Joan of Arc have a problem with people thinking she was a fanatic?

Step 34 – I am a beginning student of Knowledge – “I remember this Step taking away the pressure from the last Step.”

Step 35 – Review – “I did the Review.  Looking without judgment is the current answer to everything that stinks.”  I remember making the phrase “I will look, but I will not judge” into a little song that I sang over and over around the time I did this step.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! We are students and advocates of the the New Message from God. We are members of a worldwide community. We seek to assist the world in successfully navigating difficult times ahead. We seek to assist the world in successfully emerging into a greater community of intelligent life. You will also find some poetry. Find out more about us here. Contact us here.

Oh, What’ll You Do Now?

Oh, what’ll you do now, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, what’ll you do now, my darling young one?
I’m a-goin’ back out ’fore the rain starts a-fallin’
I’ll walk to the depths of the deepest black forest
Where the people are many and their hands are all empty
Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters
Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison
Where the executioner’s face is always well hidden
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten
Where black is the color, where none is the number
And I’ll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it
And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it
Then I’ll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin’
But I’ll know my song well before I start singin’
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall

Bob Dylan – A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall

Step 29 of Steps to Knowledge “I will observe myself today to learn of Knowledge,” was about observing myself without judgment.  Step 30 “Today I will observe my world,” was about observing the world without judgment.  Step 31, “I wish to see a world I have never seen before,” was about affirming the intent of observing the world without judgment.  Therefore, I find it no great shock that the step 35 Review of steps 29 through 34 is an opportunity to review one’s practice without judgment.  There is a special phrase for the step 35 Review: “I will look, but I will not judge.”

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! We are students and advocates of the the New Message from God. We are members of a worldwide community. We seek to assist the world in successfully navigating difficult times ahead. We seek to assist the world in successfully emerging into a greater community of intelligent life. You will also find some poetry. Find out more about us here. Contact us here.