Looking But Not Judging

looking but not judging
Looking but not judging is the guidepost for the review in Step 35 of Steps to Knowledge. The Step says,

…in your review, use this as a guidepost: “I will look, but I will not judge.”

This review covers the past week of Steps from 29 thru 34, instructing me to do this with as little judgment as possible. To merely look and see what was instructed, what I did and what the result was.

My notes for this Step say, “all in all, it is amazing how Steps are beginning to live, take up residence in me if you will, on a daily basis and merge into an overall greater awareness about myself and life in general. And insights come uncalled for, or when I am not specifically thinking about or practicing Steps. For instance, the affirmation ‘I want to see a different world’ from Step 31. I Wish To See A World I Have Never Seen Before suddenly opened up yesterday as I was doing something else and became so clear and understandable. Like a flash of insight that I want to hold on to.

“And so it is as I move on through Steps, I realize that what has gone before remains with me, embedding itself in the core of my being, even without me being consciously aware of it, to erupt in moments of inspiration and insight when I can truly say that the truth is with me, I can feel it!”

I did this review on December 12, 2012 and was pretty upbeat about it.

One phrase spoke to me in particular. My notes begin with: “This idea that

the less you attempt to use your life, the more you will be able to understand it, appreciate it and work with its intrinsic mechanism for your greater advancement

is beginning to strike home for me.”

Today as I post on this review and reread the Step, a different passage speaks to me.

You are learning now to become objective about your life without repressing the content of your emotions. Instead of attempting to destroy one aspect of yourself, you are simply attempting to cultivate another.

This speaks to me because today I am looking at myself, but trying hard not to judge. I am trying to repress the content of my emotions, trying to squelch a part of me I do not like, a part of me that does not seem to resonate with Knowledge.

Looking but not judging

Look at the photo I posted. What do you see?

At first I saw luminescent white petals, sunlight illuminating the leaves, the contrast of sparkling white and fresh green. It took me quite a while to notice the bug. When I did, I thought it detracted from the beauty of the blossom. It seemed like a blemish on an otherwise unsullied soul. My thoughts became judgmental. Upon further reflection, however, I decided the bug had every right to its place on the flower. If I liken the bug to the emotions I wish to repress and destroy, I am given a different perspective. I may not like my emotions, but I do not need to repress or destroy them. I am looking but not judging.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

Я хочу увидеть другой мир

увидеть другой мир

For English version click here.

Я говорю себе, что я хочу увидеть другой мир. А что это значит?

Шаг 31 в книге “Шаги к Знанию” призывает к тому, чтобы увидеть другой мир, мир без осуждения и предположений. Это желание исходит из Знания и отражает мою истинную волю. Я и говорю себе, что для меня желание увидеть другой мир подразумевает желание познать истину.

Тем не менее, когда я говорю, что я хочу увидеть другой мир, что это значит?Признаюсь, что меня смущает слово «мир» тут. «Мир» можно толковать по-разному. Есть глобальный мир и есть мой личный мир, мир моих взаимоотношений. Что здесь имеется в виду? Первое понятие или второе? Или оба сразу?

Я не могу руководить глобальным миром, это вне моих сил. Внешний глобальный мир живет своей жизнью, а я могу только наблюдать. И надеяться на прозрение.

В своем личном мире, я часто растеряюсь, я фантазирую, и хочу того, что не может быть, или сочиняю свою собственную сценарию, которая не соответствует действительностью. И соответственно страдаю. Когда я так поступаю, я хочу увидеть другой мир, другую сценарию, не выдуманную, а реальную, истинную. Я прошу о том, чтобы увидеть истину, и часто получаю новый взгляд на ситуацию.

Я хочу увидеть другой мир

увидеть другой мир

Сегодня я заостряла внимание на другое понятие этого Шага. В нем говорится, что мое желание увидеть другой мир представляет собой мое стремление к миру.

Сегодня идет война. В тот день когда она началась (2 мая 2014г.), я сидела на берегу тихой речки и увидела другой мир. Я увидела мир красоты, утренний туман над водой, светлую зеленную листву берёз, великолепное небо при закате и расходе солнца, поющие птицы, прыгающую рыбу, и юный месяц. Такой мир я хочу увидеть.

Раньше, где я сидела, гремела война, уже другая, Великая Отечественная. Вокруг я вижу следы бывших окопов, блиндажей, если покопать, можно найти застреленные пули, остатки снарядов, останки погибших солдат.

Люди до сих пор воюют, хотя уже не здесь, но я хочу увидеть другой мир.

По дороге домой, я слушала песню Жанны Бичевской «Баллада о казачке». Слова песни привлекали мое внимание, очень кстати были слова. «А вокруг тишина, только речка журчит, здесь недавно гремела война…»

Я не осуждаю мир, мир делает то, что он должен делать. Однако, я позволяю себе увидеть другой мир.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

I Wish To See A Different World

I wish to see a different world

I tell myself that I wish to see a different world. But what do I mean?

My notes quote the following sentence from Step 31. I  Wish To See A World I Have Never Seen Before:

I wish to see a different world.

And follow it with, for me this is the same as saying “I wish to see the truth.”

Is this any clearer? When I say to myself, “I wish to see the truth,” I am talking about situations I encounter in my daily life, in my interpersonal relationships mainly. I mean that I want to see past what my mind imagines a situation to be, past all the assumptions and judgments I come up with, past my fantasies and conjectures, to see the situation as it really is. I wish to know the truth.

Still, when I say I wish to see a different world, what does this really mean? I asked myself this question when I did this Step because I was unsure whether the “world” meant the world at large, the physical world I find myself in, or whether it meant my personal world, my immediate world of interpersonal relationships with the people around me. Or does it mean both?

In the world at large, I have no control over what people do and what goes on. I can only pray for greater enlightenment. If I do not judge, but observe impartially, I can accept the world I see and know that it is colored by my own thoughts and ideas about it. If I wish to see a different world I first need to change my way of looking.

In my personal world, I can easily get myself bent out of shape over certain things, and at those times, when I wish things were different, I ask to see the truth. Often I am rewarded with a new insight.

Steps to Knowledge puts great store by hourly practices. Step 31 puts even greater emphasis than usual on this, saying:

Do this every hour. Try not to miss any practice sessions. Practice no matter how you feel, no matter what is occurring.

I must admit that I am not very good at the hourly practices, that is, practicing on the hour, every hour. This is a definite shortcoming of mine. I justify this shortcoming by telling myself that my Step is with me all day regardless of whether I am thinking about it specifically every hour, or not. The Step lives with me as I go about my daily business, I tell myself.

I wish to see a different world

I wish to see a different worldToday, as I write this post, I am in a different place. Today the line of the Step that speaks to me is:

It represents your desire for peace.

Today there is war going on in my part of the world. The day it started for real (May 2, 2014), I was sitting on the banks of a peaceful river and seeing a different world. I was nowhere near the war, either physically or mentally. I was seeing a world of beauty, morning mist on the water, emerald green birch leaves dancing in the wind, magnificent cloud-studded skies at sunrise and sunset, birds singing, fish jumping, and a crescent moon. This is the world I wish to see.

The world I saw there was very different from the way it was just sixty years ago. In the very place where I was enjoying the stillness and peace of nature, Russians fought Germans during World War II. I know this because the earth there is still full of spent bullets and missiles, soldiers’ bones and other signs of war. War is still going on in the world, but I wish to see a different world.

On the way back home, I listened to a song that spoke to this experience. The song, a Cossack folk ballad sung by Russian folksinger Jeanne (Zhanna) Bichevskaya, particularly attracted me with the words, “There is stillness all around, broken only by a burbling brook, but not that long ago there raged a war.”

I do not judge the world, the world will do what it will do. However, I am at liberty to see a different world.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

Knowledge Is With Me – Again

Knowledge is with me - Sculpture in Oro Valley Library, Tucson, Arizona

Step 58 of Steps to Knowledge, “Knowledge is with me,” is the first step in Steps to Knowledge to repeat a portion of a Step.  In Step 1, “I am without Knowledge now,” we are told,

“You start here in the understanding that you are without Knowledge. That is not to say that Knowledge is not with you. It is simply to say that you are not with Knowledge.”

Step 2, “Knowledge is with me.  Where am I?” is the step that Step 58 is partially repeating.  We are told Knowledge is in a part of the mind we have not yet learned to access.

In the big Step 49 review, the phrase “Knowledge is with you” is used as a sort of benediction upon the efforts of the student:

“You have come this far. Congratulations! You have passed the first test. Be encouraged now to proceed, for Knowledge is with you.”

Knowledge is with me

And here we are now at Step 58.  The previous step was Step 57, “Freedom is with me,” and therefore I get the idea that part of the point of the Step is building a connection between freedom and Knowledge.

Step 58 is the first step since Step 31 “I wish to see a world I have never seen before,” where the only practice is a brief, hourly practice.  Another part of the point of Step 58 is to teach the idea that I can practice just about anywhere.

What kind of bridge has been built so far, between where I normally live and where Knowledge abides, in the time between Step 2 and Step 58?  I don’t recall having any remarkable experiences of Knowledge during this time.  I had a happy feeling of demonstrating to myself a certain degree of seriousness as a student.  I had a happy feeling that I was following the directions to the best of my ability.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

Can I Make My Soul A Little Bigger?

This is the fifth post in a series of seven posts regarding Step 49 of Steps to Knowledge, where I am directed to review my practice of the first 48 steps.  I am sharing what I wrote at the time I did this review, with additional commentary as needed.

Step 29 – I will observe myself today to learn of Knowledge – “I remember I started exercising the day I did this Step.  When I’m doing more observing, less judging, Knowledge sneaks in in an unguarded moment.  I didn’t do very well in practicing exactly on the hour, but I practiced a good bit.  I commented on this Step.”  Starting to exercise was definitely a positive development.  Yes, I consider unguarded moments to be valuable.  I now use the alarm on my cell phone to remind me of hourly practice.  It’s a great conversation starter.  I don’t believe my private commentary on this step will be all that helpful.

Step 30 – Today I will observe my world – “Again, like the day before, I didn’t do the Step hourly, but I did it a lot, I considered the possibility of looking on the collapse of America without judgment.”  If you either know me, or read this blog, then you have observed or surmised that I have a certain amount of fondness for, or attachment to, the United States of America and the ideals it seeks to embody.  Contemplating the possibility of looking on the collapse of America without judgment took a great deal of stretching my soul beyond its previous dimensions.

Step 31 – I wish to see a world I have never seen before – “I recalled the ‘Judgment and love are opposites…’ step from ACIM [A Course in Miracles].  I also recalled the John Lennon song ‘Watchin’ the Wheels Go Round.’  Again, I wasn’t good on timely practice, but I practiced a lot.”  Lesson 352 in the Workbook for Students in A Course in Miracles is “Judgment and love are opposites.  From one come all the sorrows of the world.  But from the other comes the peace of God Himself.”  This is more of what I mean when I talk about the overlap between A Course in Miracles and Steps to Knowledge.  The actual title of the John Lennon song is just “Watching the Wheels.”  I find it much less angry than many earlier John Lennon songs.

Step 32 – The truth is with me.  I can feel it. – “I remember mocking this Step, saying the line from 2001 ‘The truth is with me, Dave.  I can feel it.’  I believe there was a big gap between the day I did 31 and the day I did 32.  Holidays?  I commented on this step.”  When Dave Bowman is shutting down the HAL 9000 computer in the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey, HAL says “My mind is going, Dave.  I can feel it.”  Did I need some comic relief? I shared my further commentary on Step 32 here.

Step 33 – I have a mission in my life to fulfill – “I remember not enjoying this step, because I was ok with the idea, but never seemed to fulfill it.  I remember thinking it could mean I would be a fanatic, my life organized around my great mission.  On the other hand, I might be fanatic, but normal about it.”  I seem to have issues with either being a fanatic, or being thought of as a fanatic.  Did St. Joan of Arc have a problem with people thinking she was a fanatic?

Step 34 – I am a beginning student of Knowledge – “I remember this Step taking away the pressure from the last Step.”

Step 35 – Review – “I did the Review.  Looking without judgment is the current answer to everything that stinks.”  I remember making the phrase “I will look, but I will not judge” into a little song that I sang over and over around the time I did this step.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

I Want The Strength To Do What Must Be Done

I experienced a certain difficulty finding something particular to say about Step 44 of Steps to Knowledge “I wish to know my own strength.”  I finally decided to just give each paragraph of the step, and offer commentary.

“This affirmation you may find very acceptable because of your immediate need for it in your current circumstances, but the affirmation is far deeper than you may at first realize.”

This is the fourth instance of the word affirmation, the previous instances being in Step 41 “I am not afraid of the power of God,” Step 31 “I wish to see a world I have never seen before,” and Step 27, “I have a wisdom that I wish to discover.”  I believe there is someone reading this and thinking it would be a good idea to harvest the affirmations from Steps to Knowledge and use them separately.  I don’t think that’s a good idea, as the power of these affirmations have a lot to do with the context in which they are found.

“You have far more strength than you have claimed, but it cannot be fully realized until its application is directed in a manner that truly regenerates you and brings forth your true abilities.”

At this point, I’m recalling the Marianne Williamson quote “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”  But we don’t want to have a strength that demonstrates itself merely in using more resources and dying with more toys than a herdsman in Mali, or a Pakistani bricklayer.

I want the strength to do what must be done.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

Oh, What’ll You Do Now?

Oh, what’ll you do now, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, what’ll you do now, my darling young one?
I’m a-goin’ back out ’fore the rain starts a-fallin’
I’ll walk to the depths of the deepest black forest
Where the people are many and their hands are all empty
Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters
Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison
Where the executioner’s face is always well hidden
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten
Where black is the color, where none is the number
And I’ll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it
And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it
Then I’ll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin’
But I’ll know my song well before I start singin’
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall

Bob Dylan – A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall

Step 29 of Steps to Knowledge “I will observe myself today to learn of Knowledge,” was about observing myself without judgment.  Step 30 “Today I will observe my world,” was about observing the world without judgment.  Step 31, “I wish to see a world I have never seen before,” was about affirming the intent of observing the world without judgment.  Therefore, I find it no great shock that the step 35 Review of steps 29 through 34 is an opportunity to review one’s practice without judgment.  There is a special phrase for the step 35 Review: “I will look, but I will not judge.”

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

I Wish To Be A Fairer Witness To The World

Is it even possible to see things as anything other than what we are?  I’m not sure, but step 31 of Steps to Knowledge offers an affirmation of a desire to see something other than what is suggested by my own thoughts.  Yes, the word affirmation was used.  Yes, the actual affirmation “I wish to see a world I have never seen before,” is only found in Steps to Knowledge.

There are at least two threads going on in this step.  One thread is the idea of practicing observation without judgment, practicing not wanting to take delicious enjoyment in judging, practicing becoming less invested in judging.  Got that?

The other is strengthening the idea of hourly practice.  This is the third consecutive step involving hourly practice.  If I wish to engage with an idea, thinking about it on an hourly basis is a great way to do it.  On the other hand, if I’m having issues with the idea, or issues with the premises of Steps to Knowledge, I find any number of creative ways to forget my hourly practice, or not think about it as much as the step would suggest.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.