Looking But Not Judging

looking but not judging
Looking but not judging is the guidepost for the review in Step 35 of Steps to Knowledge. The Step says,

…in your review, use this as a guidepost: “I will look, but I will not judge.”

This review covers the past week of Steps from 29 thru 34, instructing me to do this with as little judgment as possible. To merely look and see what was instructed, what I did and what the result was.

My notes for this Step say, “all in all, it is amazing how Steps are beginning to live, take up residence in me if you will, on a daily basis and merge into an overall greater awareness about myself and life in general. And insights come uncalled for, or when I am not specifically thinking about or practicing Steps. For instance, the affirmation ‘I want to see a different world’ from Step 31. I Wish To See A World I Have Never Seen Before suddenly opened up yesterday as I was doing something else and became so clear and understandable. Like a flash of insight that I want to hold on to.

“And so it is as I move on through Steps, I realize that what has gone before remains with me, embedding itself in the core of my being, even without me being consciously aware of it, to erupt in moments of inspiration and insight when I can truly say that the truth is with me, I can feel it!”

I did this review on December 12, 2012 and was pretty upbeat about it.

One phrase spoke to me in particular. My notes begin with: “This idea that

the less you attempt to use your life, the more you will be able to understand it, appreciate it and work with its intrinsic mechanism for your greater advancement

is beginning to strike home for me.”

Today as I post on this review and reread the Step, a different passage speaks to me.

You are learning now to become objective about your life without repressing the content of your emotions. Instead of attempting to destroy one aspect of yourself, you are simply attempting to cultivate another.

This speaks to me because today I am looking at myself, but trying hard not to judge. I am trying to repress the content of my emotions, trying to squelch a part of me I do not like, a part of me that does not seem to resonate with Knowledge.

Looking but not judging

Look at the photo I posted. What do you see?

At first I saw luminescent white petals, sunlight illuminating the leaves, the contrast of sparkling white and fresh green. It took me quite a while to notice the bug. When I did, I thought it detracted from the beauty of the blossom. It seemed like a blemish on an otherwise unsullied soul. My thoughts became judgmental. Upon further reflection, however, I decided the bug had every right to its place on the flower. If I liken the bug to the emotions I wish to repress and destroy, I am given a different perspective. I may not like my emotions, but I do not need to repress or destroy them. I am looking but not judging.

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