Step 22 states in no uncertain words:
You are surrounded by the teachers of God. They are here to love, support and direct you.
As always though, I cannot write about my experience and practice of Steps without mentioning my doubt and skepticism.
My notes for this Step say:
“As far back as I can remember, I have always believed in angels, in a benevolent power looking after me, and even hoped there might be a personal angel just for me. I can visualize this presence, these Teachers of God, when I meditate, and even feel their love and support, but unfortunately, even here, doubt creeps in. Am I not just believing what I want to believe (Step 5)?
“My mind is an amazing thing, I can convince myself of anything I want, but is this the Truth?”
Today I realize again that I have no trouble feeling the presence of these Teachers of God, I can even see them in my mind’s eye and feel their support. But I also ask the same question as Douglas, are they merely a mental construct?
When I did this Step, my attention was drawn to a New Message teaching called “The Rays of Initiation.”
This is a very powerful text that begins:
The Power and the Presence watches over you
And all people in the world
Waiting for those
Who are ready
Waiting for those
Who are ready to awaken
From their deep sleep
Of desire and disappointment
Watching over the world
Waiting for those minds
That seek freedom.
Not just an outer freedom
But an inner freedom
Waiting for the moment
In the individual.
Trusting my inner guidance
My notes continue after reading this teaching:
“The Power and Presence – I am wondering if this is the same as the Teachers of God? I have been reading and rereading the Rays of Initiation. My first reaction was that I feel I am missing some vital point, I am not ready, I am still asleep, and this was a very humbling thing to feel.
“Then I wondered ‘How can this be?’ since I have had many ‘awakening’ experiences, although not born of despair and frustration, but rather from seeking for something more real, more authentic, more permanent and more essential – that has certainly been my experience in the past, until I moved to Russia . . . Now all those things I sought are present in my life. So I am wondering, did I respond to my greater calling, greater purpose back then, before I was conscious of all that is presented in the New Message? And now I am living my real life, the life I was destined to live at this time? Or am I indeed missing some vital point?
“I am thinking that it must be possible for people to respond to their greater calling unconsciously.”
Today I feel more certain, more confident. I still have questions, but I am trusting my inner guidance.
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