What Am I Trying To Prove?

Cirque Mechanics Birdhouse Factory. What am I trying to proveStep 91 of Steps to Knowledge is a review of the steps from Step 85 “I find happiness in small things today” to Step 90 “Today I will make no assumptions.”

What am I trying to prove?

During this series of steps, I noticed that Step 88, “My Higher Self is not an individual” is the only step in Steps to Knowledge which uses the phrase “Higher Self.” The Step 91 Review also contains a word which appears only once in Steps to Knowledge. That word is “showmanship.”

“Learn how to learn. Learn about the process of learning. Do not use learning as a form of showmanship. Do not use learning to try to prove your worth to yourself. You cannot prove your worth. It is beyond your efforts to prove it. Your worth will demonstrate itself when you allow it, which you are now learning to do.”

What am I trying to prove? In earlier steps, students have been challenged to develop listening without preference and seeing without preference. Can I learn without preference? Can I learn without enlisting my learning as a foot soldier in my quest for your appreciation? I surmise that the rebuke of showmanship is giving an indirect reminder of the conversation about worth started in Step 24, “I am worthy of God’s love.”

Here is the word cloud for steps 85 through 90:

Steps To Knowledge Steps 85-90 Word Cloud. What am I trying to proveOn further review, I believe there are better uses of my time than separating out the words in the word cloud so that they can be remixed the way I like.

What am I trying to prove? Who am I trying to prove it to? Can I justify your love? Should I justify your love? Would it be progress to just abandon the whole enterprise?

* * *

Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! We are students and advocates of the the New Message from God. We are members of a worldwide community. We seek to assist the world in successfully navigating difficult times ahead. We seek to assist the world in successfully emerging into a greater community of intelligent life. You will also find some poetry. Find out more about us here. Contact us here.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Don't add to the house of cards. Don't believe everything you think

Steps to Knowledge has gone to great lengths to discourage the practice of judgment, and encourage the practice of observation in its place. Judgment is a practice of not knowing. Judgment is a practice of not looking. Judgment is a practice of not listening. Judgment is a practice of not being still. Judgment is a practice with certain social rewards. Judgment is a practice I must slowly back away from if I want to attain to what Steps to Knowledge is offering. I must strengthen the practices of knowing, looking, listening and being still.

Don’t believe everything you think

In Step 90, “Today I will make no assumptions,” this conversation is taken a step further. If I make a judgment, I am declaring “This thing is good,” or “That person is bad,” regardless of what further observation might yield about the person or thing I am judging. If I make an assumption, I am declaring “This is true,” or “That isn’t true.” I therefore consider assumption to be a detrimental practice of mental sloth, just as I consider judgment to be a detrimental practice of moral sloth.

The word “assumption” appears 14 times in 8 different steps, before appearing in Step 90. The context in which the word “assumption” consistently appears is that assumptions are not founded upon experience, and are therefore weak. Assumptions are inadequate in the face of life’s opportunities and challenges. Assumption is the use of language and imagination to create a self and a world not founded on experience, and therefore apart from life.

It may take a while to unwind the multiple layers of assumptions, redactions of experience and denials of experience which pass for reality. But at the very least, I can stop adding layers to this house of cards. I can cultivate a certain degree of skepticism regarding my assumptions. I can take the page from the Buddhist playbook “Don’t believe everything you think.” I can keep observing, keep coming back to my experience. Will I? Let’s just say I’ll make a determined effort.

* * *

Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! We are students and advocates of the the New Message from God. We are members of a worldwide community. We seek to assist the world in successfully navigating difficult times ahead. We seek to assist the world in successfully emerging into a greater community of intelligent life. You will also find some poetry. Find out more about us here. Contact us here.