It’s Been A While Since I Thought About Step 8

This is the second posts in a series of seven posts describing my experience of Step 49 of Steps to Knowledge, where I am instructed to review my engagement with the first 48 Steps.  I am writing what I wrote when I did the Step, sometime in January of 2011, with any additional commentary if needed.

Step 8 – Today I will be still – “I thought ‘You don’t need to tell me how to be still, buddy.’  So while I didn’t do the Step exactly as instructed, I did the Step”  I notice my breathing becoming both slower and shallower as I enter stillness.  I also notice a certain inner brightness, unrelated to the amount of light in the room.

Step 9 – In stillness all things can be known – “Being still is building a bridge for Knowledge to emerge in an unguarded moment.”  An unguarded moment as in “a moment where I’m not guarding the idea that I am my body, or that I am my individuality.”

Why Am I Doing This, Anyway? – “‘a troubled dream,’ ‘a fever dream.’ I’m taking comfort that I’m not just waiting for the Reaper.”  A Course in Miracles uses the phrase “dreams of fever” to describe what passes for reality for most people.  It is my sincere hope that my study of Steps to Knowledge will be helpful to others, that it will help my life to be something better than a troubled dream.

Step 10 – What is Knowledge? – “Unlike my little self, Knowledge has no desire to be separate.  I think I’m trying to approach Knowledge, but it says here Knowledge is my True Self.  My True Self is calling my little self to ItSelf.”  I’ve heard the little self called the ego, the concocted self, the secondary self, the constructed self, the imagined self, and so on.

Step 11 – I am not apart from life – “A recap of ACIM [A Course in Miracles].  The Separation is unreal, unhappy perception, does not exist.  We consider perception as reality, but reality is far happier.”  The perception which passes for reality is that we are not included in life, the reality is that I am not apart from life.

Step 12 – My individuality is to express life itself – “Just as the body is a communication tool, my individuality, my little self, is to express life.  Thinking about expressing breast milk.”  Let me explain.  Nursing mothers occasionally express milk to be consumed at a time when they’re not available.  In the same way, life is expressed through my individuality.  Thinking of the body as a communication tool is one of the sections of Chapter 8 of the Text of A Course in Miracles.

Step 13 – I want to be separate to be unique – “The price of Separation is infinitely higher than the payoff of uniqueness, or what ACIM calls specialness.”  Everyone is at a different station of separation or prodigality: some are headed for the far country, some are coming to their senses in the pig pen, some are on their way back to their father’s house.

Step 14 – Review “As far as I know, I did the Steps as given.  I can so see myself in my mind’s eye moderating a group of people who are at various stages of Steps.”  This hasn’t happened yet.  I am not an early adopter by temperament, neither do I have a history of early adoption, but I believe I am an early adopter of Steps to Knowledge.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! We are students and advocates of the the New Message from God. We are members of a worldwide community. We seek to assist the world in successfully navigating difficult times ahead. We seek to assist the world in successfully emerging into a greater community of intelligent life. You will also find some poetry. Find out more about us here. Contact us here.

I May Need A Cup Of Coffee (Or Two) For This Step

Step 49 of Steps to Knowledge, like the other Steps evenly divisible by 7, is a review.  But it is a review of the all of the Steps done so far.  Steps 1 through 6 will therefore be reviewed three times, as they were reviewed in Step 7, Step 14, and Step 49. All the other steps will be reviewed twice, as they were reviewed in their own review step, and in Step 49.

This step contains the first instance of the word “Congratulations” in Steps to Knowledge.  I don’t consider this a word of idle flattery. I say anyone who has arrived at this point has demonstrated some openness of mind and some resolve.

The current plan is to write a series of posts, sharing what I wrote when I did the Step 49 Review, seven posts at a time, and adding any additional comment if needed.

Step 1 – I am without Knowledge now – “Nothing particularly controversial, although I have no idea what they mean by ‘Ancient Home.’  Maybe the Mormons were right all along.  As I have gone along, Knowledge has gotten bigger, greater, wiser.”  The Mormons speak of a premortal existence, and their missionaries show a picture of a beautiful parklike place when they speak of it.

Step 2 – Knowledge is with me.  Where am I? – “Where am I? ‘Flopping about on the surface of my mind, imagining that’s all there is.’  I want Knowledge to make me non-autistic, but Knowledge seems to have other plans.”  I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a mild form of autism, in 2006.

Step 3 – What do I really know? – “I seem to recall thinking there were some things I knew at the time, but now I’m not so sure if I know anything.”

Step 4 – I want what I think I know – “I think I know that the world needs a hero, and that I want to be one.”  On further review, maybe heroic ambitions are part of the problem.

Step 5 – I believe what I want to believe – “I recall thinking when I did this step ‘I believe what I want to believe in order to survive, reproduce, have power, have pleasure, and avoid responsibility.’ I am screwed, humanity is screwed, living in a world of delusion.”

Step 6 – I have a true foundation in the world – “Steps bounce back and forth between confessions of the current state of bewilderment, and the alternative good news.  Telling me that I haven’t come to the world empty-handed was/is a great consolation, as I have been a problem for the past 30 years.”  Ok, ok, that’s definitely overdramatizing things. I’ve had many happy moments, but I’ve also had many issues and disappointments.  Some of them might have been because my unknown-at-the-time autistic tendencies, and some of them might have been because of prosaic poor choices.

Step 7 – Review – “Whatever I think Knowledge is, that ain’t it.  Furthermore, what I think I know is part of the problem.  I feel the way I think, I think the way I believe, and any correspondence between what I believe and what is so is purely coincidental.”

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! We are students and advocates of the the New Message from God. We are members of a worldwide community. We seek to assist the world in successfully navigating difficult times ahead. We seek to assist the world in successfully emerging into a greater community of intelligent life. You will also find some poetry. Find out more about us here. Contact us here.