Step 49 of Steps to Knowledge, like the other Steps evenly divisible by 7, is a review. But it is a review of the all of the Steps done so far. Steps 1 through 6 will therefore be reviewed three times, as they were reviewed in Step 7, Step 14, and Step 49. All the other steps will be reviewed twice, as they were reviewed in their own review step, and in Step 49.
This step contains the first instance of the word “Congratulations” in Steps to Knowledge. I don’t consider this a word of idle flattery. I say anyone who has arrived at this point has demonstrated some openness of mind and some resolve.
The current plan is to write a series of posts, sharing what I wrote when I did the Step 49 Review, seven posts at a time, and adding any additional comment if needed.
Step 1 – I am without Knowledge now – “Nothing particularly controversial, although I have no idea what they mean by ‘Ancient Home.’ Maybe the Mormons were right all along. As I have gone along, Knowledge has gotten bigger, greater, wiser.” The Mormons speak of a premortal existence, and their missionaries show a picture of a beautiful parklike place when they speak of it.
Step 2 – Knowledge is with me. Where am I? – “Where am I? ‘Flopping about on the surface of my mind, imagining that’s all there is.’ I want Knowledge to make me non-autistic, but Knowledge seems to have other plans.” I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a mild form of autism, in 2006.
Step 3 – What do I really know? – “I seem to recall thinking there were some things I knew at the time, but now I’m not so sure if I know anything.”
Step 4 – I want what I think I know – “I think I know that the world needs a hero, and that I want to be one.” On further review, maybe heroic ambitions are part of the problem.
Step 5 – I believe what I want to believe – “I recall thinking when I did this step ‘I believe what I want to believe in order to survive, reproduce, have power, have pleasure, and avoid responsibility.’ I am screwed, humanity is screwed, living in a world of delusion.”
Step 6 – I have a true foundation in the world – “Steps bounce back and forth between confessions of the current state of bewilderment, and the alternative good news. Telling me that I haven’t come to the world empty-handed was/is a great consolation, as I have been a problem for the past 30 years.” Ok, ok, that’s definitely overdramatizing things. I’ve had many happy moments, but I’ve also had many issues and disappointments. Some of them might have been because my unknown-at-the-time autistic tendencies, and some of them might have been because of prosaic poor choices.
Step 7 – Review – “Whatever I think Knowledge is, that ain’t it. Furthermore, what I think I know is part of the problem. I feel the way I think, I think the way I believe, and any correspondence between what I believe and what is so is purely coincidental.”
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