It suggests that the obstacles that prevent me from claiming my strength are vaporous things that cross my mind like clouds. Beyond the clouds of my mind is the great universe of Knowledge. So I am parting the clouds to see the stars beyond. I am to seek my strength and I am to use it to find my strength.
When I reached Step 44 on December 22, 2012, I thought that my strength might lie in writing. I had written a book charting some of the journey that led me to return to Russia in 1990 and felt the urge to go back and do some major revision on it. I was obstructed by clouds of doubt, clouds of unworthiness, clouds of self-deprecation. I wished to release them, to pass through them, parting the clouds to experience something greater beyond. The call to express something (Step 12. My individuality is to express life itself) was the greater something I valued.
I wrote in my notes:
“This Step speaks to me in a very authentic way today. I feel called upon to return to a writing project I began several years ago and refashion it from my new vantage point, after recognizing and claiming my strength and directing it in a manner that truly regenerates me and brings forth my true abilities. Let the clouds of my mind part and dissipate so that I can see the stars beyond and use Knowledge to guide me where I need to go.”
Parting the clouds to see the stars
I remember particularly appreciating Douglas’s reference to the Wizard of Oz in regard to this step on the Free School Forum. And today my attention returns to that story again, to the part where Dorothy is told that she always had the power to go home, only to believe it, she had to learn it for herself.
I have always had more strength than I claimed, only I have been unable to believe it. Now I am parting the clouds to see the stars, to see the strength I do indeed possess. Steps to Knowledge is teaching me how to learn it for myself.
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