There is something I find curious about Step 95, “How can I possibly fulfill myself?” of Steps to Knowledge. The word “possibly” is used a total of five times before Step 95, and the context is usually to cut off hope of something. For example, in Step 87, “I will not be afraid of what I know,” I am told that my personal mind cannot possibly understand my greater purpose. This is the first time the word “possibly” appears in the step itself. Steps to Knowledge frequently uses rhetorical questions, but this is the first time that the step is in the form of a rhetorical question. It is as if Steps to Knowledge is spending some of the capital it has accumulated with me by reducing my suffering in previous steps. Steps to Knowledge is questioning something that it didn’t occur to me to question, claiming that I strive to scratch the itches of a ghost.
I strive to scratch the itches of a ghost
When Steps to Knowledge says that Knowledge is my True Self in Step 10, “What is Knowledge?”, it’s not claiming that my individuality, my body and personality is a false self. Rather, it is claiming that my individuality is an incomplete self, a secondary self, a vehicle for my true self. If this is true, then the efforts I make to fulfill myself are equivalent to making efforts to fulfill a suit I wear, or a house I live in, or a car I drive.
Someone is reading this and thinking “But Douglas, that’s, that’s…” Crazy? We prefer the word “confused.” This state of affairs is the consequence of living in a world where people believe what they want to believe. This state of affairs is the consequence of living in a world where people want to be separate to be unique. I strive to scratch the itches of a ghost.
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