How deep is my commitment I ask myself as I do the Step 28 Review. This is the fourth review so far in Steps to Knowledge and begins with a prayer. The prayer asks me to do a lot of accepting. And much of what I am asked to accept requires a mind that is willing to throw off old, hackneyed thinking and embrace higher, more enlightened thoughts, to say the least. The prayer has been presented in full before in this space, but I think it is worth repeating.
“I accept my Knowledge as a gift from God. I accept my Teachers as my elder brothers and sisters. I accept my world as a place where Knowledge can be reclaimed and contributed. I accept my past as a demonstration of life without Knowledge. I accept the miracles of my life as a demonstration of the presence of Knowledge and I give myself now to cultivate that which is of the greatest good within myself to be given to the world.”
Am I ready to accept these things? Just how deep is my commitment?
My notes for this review say: “I don’t think I am deeply enough involved yet. I am motivated, but still I feel I am expecting results without doing the work. I am not spending enough time on exploring my experience, although I feel the practices offered by the Steps are uppermost in mind as I go about my normal activity. But still, I need to delve deeper and devote more time to searching and investigating.”
This describes me to a tee, expecting results without doing the work, thinking I am progressing without making a deep commitment. But I am not doing this for myself, for my own benefit alone, but for those whom I will serve in the future. For after receiving the benefits of reclaiming Knowledge, I will wish to give in whatever context and in whatever form is appropriate for me. So if my commitment is not deep enough, if I am not motivated enough in penetrating the barriers that exist, I am not doing those who follow me a very great service. I am not cultivating that which is the greatest good within myself to be given to the world.
How deep is my commitment?
However, the flip side of commitment is hesitancy and doubt. And this review did not bring up those things for me. This review helped me to see where my practice needed more dedication and direction, it made me realize I needed to deepen my commitment. It is one thing to be so hesitant that I shun commitment and quite another to see the value of what I am doing and wish to deepen my commitment as I move on. I trust that as my mind studies the tracks, Knowledge will move the train, and my commitment will deepen.
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