I would like to think I am going deeper, moving on. The reviews offered in Steps to Knowledge are a good opportunity to look back, take stock, and prepare for going deeper, moving on. Step 14, the second review step so far, asks that I specifically determine the depth of my involvement and investigate the content of my experience.
When I reached this step I was full of questions.
I wrote the following in my notes for the Step 14 Review:
“So much feels so familiar, but still somehow just out of reach. So the big question that has arisen for me at this point is – why is this so? Why can we not access the Knowledge that is ours from birth each time we come into the world? Why do we have to struggle so to regain what God has given us from the very start? Why does it take so much effort to wake up and why do so many people never seem to reach that level of enlightenment? Why is it so hard to delve into the depths of our minds and see the Truth?
“I am probably asking very naive questions and just showing my ignorance. Yes, I am ignorant, I fully accept that fact, but I so want to remember who I really am, I am seeking answers.”
As it transpires, God speaks in many ways and I laugh in delight when I read the following, because it seems as though God is speaking directly to me in my striving to know the “whys” and “wherefores.”
“It seems you want to know everything. You want to know how and why. You want to know all the connections in life and what makes two and two. It seems you become like a busybody when it comes to the mechanics of life. It is not your mission to figure out all the wherefore’s and why’s of life. You do not require explanations. When it comes to life, it’s more like it’s acceptance that you require. Let your motto be: Move On.”
Going Deeper, Moving On
I discovered something, however, as I further investigated the content of my experience and the nature of my questioning. My questions do not address the mechanics of the world, I do not ask questions like “why do bad things happen to good people,” or “why do young people die?” My questions are more like “why don’t I know what I want to know?” Or “why have I forgotten where I came from?” Or “Who are my Teachers, and where is my Ancient Home?”
Now I have even stopped asking these questions, mainly because I know I am not going to find an answer at this stage in the game. Answers require going deeper, moving on.
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