This is the fourth post in a series of seven posts regarding my experience of Step 49 of Steps to Knowledge. In this step, I am directed to review my practice and experience of the first 48 steps. I am sharing what I wrote when I did this step, and adding commentary when needed.
Step 22 – I am surrounded by the Teachers of God – “This step presents the Teachers as critters who have just been a little ways further down the road I’m on. I commented further on this step in this book” I finally got around to writing about my experience of the steps when I did them, when I did step 22.
Step 23 – I am loved, surrounded and supported by the Teachers of God – “I remember finding this Step as unusual (see commentary)” This is the commentary I wrote at the time: “One thing I find noteworthy about this step is that it I one of the rare (so far) occasions in Steps where something good is said about the student in his current state. The feeling for me is a feeling of connectedness, a feeling someone wants me to hit the jackpot, to find the great treasure, to win the brass ring. I have this thought that, generally speaking, the Teachers don’t do flattery.”
Step 24 – I am worthy of God’s love – “I recall having a nervousness about this step. What great efforts will I have to make to repair my errors? I didn’t have an answer for that. I still don’t” The step said “Your worthiness in the sight of God is unchanged. There is only great effort to repair your errors so that you may experience your True Self so that it may be rendered into the world.” At this point, slowly backing away from suffering over my errors is a good first step.
Step 25 – I am at one with the greatest truth of life – “I was nervous that the Step said my Teachers are within me. See above regarding feeling things.” Steps 22 and 23 went to great lengths to say that the Teachers of God weren’t just mental constructs or helpful metaphors, but actual individuals. And now they say they are within me?!? I’ve already written about my issues regarding practicing feeling things here and here.
Step 26 – My errors give birth to my Knowledge – “This step made me have a great deal of respect for the authors. I wanted to make the pain of my errors disappear, but not learn from them. They killed off many bad ideas (or incomplete ideas) in one paragraph.” If I can learn from my errors, I have a good chance of not committing them again. They killed off the ideas that error non-exists, that error is pure service, and error could be justified.
Step 27 – I have a wisdom which I wish to discover – “I remember the same thing about this step as Step 17.” On further review, this Step took what was in Step 17 and elaborated on it, so this is hardly surprising.
Step 28 – Review – “I don’t think I’ve had any miracles yet. I remember being nervous if I had done the Steps as hard, as much as I shoulda.” The prayer in Step 28 says “I accept the miracles of my life as a demonstration of the presence of Knowledge…” The word miracle is used exactly twice in Steps to Knowledge. A miracle is a demonstration of the presence of the great mystery of one’s life.
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