Раздвинуть облака, чтобы видеть звезды

For English version click here.

Шаг 44. “Я желаю знать свою силу” из книги “Шаги к Знанию” призывает к тому, чтобы знать свою силу и использовать её в свою пользу. Эта сила кроется внутри себя, я могу сомневаться в её существовании, но она тем не менее существует и ждет, пока я её раскрою.

Звезды всё же существуют, даже когда облака их скрывают. Надо раздвинуть облака, чтобы видеть звезды, также как надо раздвинуть преграды, которые мешают приобрести свою присущую силу. Эти преграды не существенные на самом деле, они такие же воздушные, как улетучивающие облака. И за облаками моего ума распространяется огромная вселенная Знания.

Так, я раздвигаю облака, чтобы видеть звезды за ними. Я должна искать свою силу и ещё и использовать её, чтобы найти эту силу.

Это и сочетается с Новом Откровением, раскрытым Маршаллу Виану Саммерсу под названием Пробуждение.

Оно гласит:

“Если вам суждено получить Новое Откровение, то вы не сможете найти свое призвание в чем-то ином. Делайте всё, что угодно. Сопротивляйтесь. Отвергайте его. Отходите в сторону. Пытайтесь критиковать его. Пытайтесь унизить его. Пытайтесь отстранить его от себя. Но вы не сможете изменить того факта, что это часть вашей судьбы.

Ваш ум может строить догадки. Ваш ум может задавать вопросы. Ваш ум может думать, что это нелепо, что этого не может быть. Но ваше сердце будет знать.

Ваша душа открывается. Это то же самое, что тот Голос, который беседовал с вами до вашего появления в этом мире, подготавливая вас к приходу в эту сложную и полную вызова среду. Этот Голос похож на тот Голос, на Наш Голос, который пробуждает связь, восстанавливает первозданное средоточие и смысл вашей жизни.

Но в момент Пробуждения, вы не поймете, это будет вас сбивать с толку. Настолько это отличается от ваших целей и от ваших идеей о себе и о том, что вы делайте в этом мире.

Вдруг, вас как будто ударила молния, в темноте всё мгновенно освещается. И вы видите, что ваша жизнь на самом деле словно дрейфует как плот среди океана, сносимая ветром и волнами мира, и как далеко вы действительно находитесь от вашего высшего предназначения и призвания.”

И кончается:

“В какой-то момент—момент отчаяния или разочарования—вы почувствуете глубокое внутреннее волнение. И вы осознаете, что пришли в этот мир, чтобы выполнить великое предназначение, о которым вы еще не знаете, но которое ждет вас, ждет того момента, когда ваш жизненный путь вас позовет.”

Раздвинуть облака, чтобы видеть звезды, и скорее всего, вы там найдете то, что вы всегда искали.

* * *

Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

Parting The Clouds To See The Stars

I am parting the clouds to see the stars when Step 44. I Wish to Know My Strength of Steps to Knowledge asks me to know my strength and utilize it on my own behalf.

It suggests that the obstacles that prevent me from claiming my strength are vaporous things that cross my mind like clouds. Beyond the clouds of my mind is the great universe of Knowledge. So I am parting the clouds to see the stars beyond. I am to seek my strength and I am to use it to find my strength.

When I reached Step 44 on December 22, 2012, I thought that my strength might lie in writing. I had written a book charting some of the journey that led me to return to Russia in 1990 and felt the urge to go back and do some major revision on it. I was obstructed by clouds of doubt, clouds of unworthiness, clouds of self-deprecation. I wished to release them, to pass through them, parting the clouds to experience something greater beyond. The call to express something (Step 12. My individuality is to express life itself) was the greater something I valued.

I wrote in my notes:

“This Step speaks to me in a very authentic way today. I feel called upon to return to a writing project I began several years ago and refashion it from my new vantage point, after recognizing and claiming my strength and directing it in a manner that truly regenerates me and brings forth my true abilities. Let the clouds of my mind part and dissipate so that I can see the stars beyond and use Knowledge to guide me where I need to go.”

Parting the clouds to see the stars

I remember particularly appreciating Douglas’s reference to the Wizard of Oz in regard to this step on the Free School Forum. And today my attention returns to that story again, to the part where Dorothy is told that she always had the power to go home, only to believe it, she had to learn it for herself.

I have always had more strength than I claimed, only I have been unable to believe it. Now I am parting the clouds to see the stars, to see the strength I do indeed possess. Steps to Knowledge is teaching me how to learn it for myself.

* * *

Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

Can I Learn To Live Successfully Within My Limitations?

This is the final post in a series of seven posts regarding Step 49 of Steps to Knowledge. In this step, I am reviewing my practice and experience of the first 48 steps.  I am sharing what I wrote when I actually did this step, with additional commentary as needed.

Step 43 – My will is to know God – “My will is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.  My will is to represent God.  My will is to realize God.  My will is to will the will of God.  Even when I’m distracted my will comes back.”  I was improvising on the first question and answer of the Westminster Shorter Catechism, ‘the chief end of man is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.”

Step 44 – I wish to know my own strength – “Find my strength to find my strength.  Bring forth my strength.  Create my strength.”  A student of Steps to Knowledge in Qinghai Province, China, commented, “It’s like the bird learning to fly. The information, the instinct, is in the genetic blueprint, but the bird still has to learn to fly. The bird doesn’t just jump out of the nest and soar into majestic flight at the first go. It might flop, stagger, waver, or fall, but the learning will take place as the bird exercises this ability which it technically doesn’t have yet, but will have.”  The bird has to find flying.  I have to find my strength.

Step 45 – Alone I can do nothing – “I have been very unkind to my little, limited self.”  I have expected it to create its purpose, meaning and directions, which are all jobs above its pay grade.

Step 46 – I must be small to be great – “I will work successfully within my limited context”  I’m recalling that after Swedish poet and avid pianist Tomas Transtromer suffered a stroke disrupting his right side, Ulf Grahn composed a series of left-hand piano pieces for Transtromer to play.  That’s an instance of working successfully within a limited context.

Step 47 – Why do I need Teachers? – “After Steps 46 and 47, wallowing in my limitations, it was no big stretch to think I need a Teacher.”

Step 48 – True instruction is available to me – “Love myself to approach Knowledge, and I will love myself more.  I recalled Step 44 here, bootstrap loader.”  As my colleague said, “The information, the instinct, is in the genetic blueprint [unalterable read-only memory], but the bird still has to learn to fly.”  Knowledge contains certain qualities, but I still have to bring them forth to access them.

Here is the word cloud for Steps 1-49:

Steps to Knowledge Steps 1-49 Word CloudHow do I attain Knowledge?  How do I get to Carnegie Hall?  “Practice, practice, practice”

*

* * *

Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

Bootstrapping Knowledge

BootsEvery computer uses an operating system, like Windows, or Unix, or Linux, or Mac OS.  An operating system is important because it decides what computer resources (processor, memory, disk space) will be used by what program at what time.  Who decides what resources the operating system gets?  When the computer is turned on, a small program stored in read-only memory (memory that persists even when the computer is turned off), tells the computer to load the operating system from the hard drive into memory.  Why is this small program put in read-only memory?  So that it can’t be altered, like information on the hard drive.  How does the computer know to go to that small program in read-only memory?  The creator of the computer wired it up that way.  Because the small program in read-only memory is much smaller than the entire operating system, this practice came to be known as “bootstrapping,” later shortened to “booting,” as in “pulling one’s self up by one’s bootstraps”

I was thinking about mentioning this when I wrote about Step 44 in Steps to Knowledge.  There was a sentence which said “You seek your strength, and you use it to find your strength.”  That seemed (and still seems) to be self-referential to me.  It also seems a little self-referential at first glance that an operating system should load itself.  But on closer examination, the loading takes place because the computer is following the instructions in read-only memory, which it only “knew” to do because its creator designed it that way.

There was another idea like this in Step 48, “True instruction is available to me.”  The step said “You must love yourself to become a student of Knowledge and continually love yourself to proceed.”  Step 18 said that if I came into the proximity of Knowledge, I would become more whole, more consistent, more honest, more devoted, more concentrated, more self-disciplined, more compassionate and more self-loving.  It’s as if I had to find a tiny smidgen of Knowledge, or some of its qualities, within myself to start a virtuous cycle of approaching Knowledge, and obtaining the qualities which would allow me to approach further.

*

* * *

Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

Claiming Strength Is Trickier Than It Looks

Don't QuitThis is my second post on Step 44 of Steps to Knowledge “I wish to know my own strength.”  I’m continuing the practice of showing each sentence of the step, and offering commentary.

“How can you approach your strength when you feel weak and helpless, when you feel unworthy, if you are burdened by guilt or confusion or in anger blame others for your own apparent failures?”

There’s a certain amount of poison that has to be sucked out of a person’s soul in order for them to approach their strength.  Maybe they didn’t quite catch everything in Step 24, “I am worthy of God’s love.”

“To claim your strength means to release all that holds you back.”  See the previous sentence.

“You do not release your obstacles by claiming they do not exist. You release them because you value something greater.”

I have a certain investment in my obstacles.  It is an investment in attention, practice, rehearsal, sharing with others, enrolling others in their obstacles, and so forth.  Am I ready to sell guilt and confusion, so that I can buy strength?

“Their obstruction is merely the sign that you must pass through them.Your own strength is then cultivated.”

Am I allowed to recall that I can close my investment in some things, so that I can invest in other things?  I can do that?

“You seek your strength, and you use it to find your strength.”

I have to cultivate my strength to find my strength?  That seems a little self-referential, but there it is.  I have to declare my strength to find my strength?  I have to bring forth my strength to find my strength?  I have to create my strength to find my strength?  Maybe.  I’m still thinking about this.

“We wish for you to know your strength and to utilize it on your own behalf.”

Could it be that the mission I have in my life to fulfill is something that requires my unadulterated strength?

*

* * *

Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

I Want The Strength To Do What Must Be Done

Christ Washing The Disciples Feet - Dirck van Baburen

I experienced a certain difficulty finding something particular to say about Step 44 of Steps to Knowledge “I wish to know my own strength.”  I finally decided to just give each paragraph of the step, and offer commentary.

“This affirmation you may find very acceptable because of your immediate need for it in your current circumstances, but the affirmation is far deeper than you may at first realize.”

This is the fourth instance of the word affirmation, the previous instances being in Step 41 “I am not afraid of the power of God,” Step 31 “I wish to see a world I have never seen before,” and Step 27, “I have a wisdom that I wish to discover.”  I believe there is someone reading this and thinking it would be a good idea to harvest the affirmations from Steps to Knowledge and use them separately.  I don’t think that’s a good idea, as the power of these affirmations have a lot to do with the context in which they are found.

“You have far more strength than you have claimed, but it cannot be fully realized until its application is directed in a manner that truly regenerates you and brings forth your true abilities.”

At this point, I’m recalling the Marianne Williamson quote “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”  But we don’t want to have a strength that demonstrates itself merely in using more resources and dying with more toys than a herdsman in Mali, or a Pakistani bricklayer.

I want the strength to do what must be done.

*

* * *

Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.