Going Deeper, Moving On

Going Deeper, Moving On

I would like to think I am going deeper, moving on. The reviews offered in Steps to Knowledge are a good opportunity to look back, take stock, and prepare for going deeper, moving on. Step 14, the second review step so far, asks that I specifically determine the depth of my involvement and investigate the content of my experience.

When I reached this step I was full of questions.

I wrote the following in my notes for the Step 14 Review:

“So much feels so familiar, but still somehow just out of reach. So the big question that has arisen for me at this point is – why is this so? Why can we not access the Knowledge that is ours from birth each time we come into the world? Why do we have to struggle so to regain what God has given us from the very start? Why does it take so much effort to wake up and why do so many people never seem to reach that level of enlightenment? Why is it so hard to delve into the depths of our minds and see the Truth?

“I am probably asking very naive questions and just showing my ignorance. Yes, I am ignorant, I fully accept that fact, but I so want to remember who I really am, I am seeking answers.”

As it transpires, God speaks in many ways and I laugh in delight when I read the following, because it seems as though God is speaking directly to me in my striving to know the “whys” and “wherefores.”

God said:

“It seems you want to know everything. You want to know how and why. You want to know all the connections in life and what makes two and two. It seems you become like a busybody when it comes to the mechanics of life. It is not your mission to figure out all the wherefore’s and why’s of life. You do not require explanations. When it comes to life, it’s more like it’s acceptance that you require. Let your motto be: Move On.”

Going Deeper, Moving On

I discovered something, however, as I further investigated the content of my experience and the nature of my questioning. My questions do not address the mechanics of the world, I do not ask questions like “why do bad things happen to good people,” or “why do young people die?” My questions are more like “why don’t I know what I want to know?” Or “why have I forgotten where I came from?” Or “Who are my Teachers, and where is my Ancient Home?”

Now I have even stopped asking these questions, mainly because I know I am not going to find an answer at this stage in the game. Answers require going deeper, moving on.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

It’s Been A While Since I Thought About Step 8

This is the second posts in a series of seven posts describing my experience of Step 49 of Steps to Knowledge, where I am instructed to review my engagement with the first 48 Steps.  I am writing what I wrote when I did the Step, sometime in January of 2011, with any additional commentary if needed.

Step 8 – Today I will be still – “I thought ‘You don’t need to tell me how to be still, buddy.’  So while I didn’t do the Step exactly as instructed, I did the Step”  I notice my breathing becoming both slower and shallower as I enter stillness.  I also notice a certain inner brightness, unrelated to the amount of light in the room.

Step 9 – In stillness all things can be known – “Being still is building a bridge for Knowledge to emerge in an unguarded moment.”  An unguarded moment as in “a moment where I’m not guarding the idea that I am my body, or that I am my individuality.”

Why Am I Doing This, Anyway? – “‘a troubled dream,’ ‘a fever dream.’ I’m taking comfort that I’m not just waiting for the Reaper.”  A Course in Miracles uses the phrase “dreams of fever” to describe what passes for reality for most people.  It is my sincere hope that my study of Steps to Knowledge will be helpful to others, that it will help my life to be something better than a troubled dream.

Step 10 – What is Knowledge? – “Unlike my little self, Knowledge has no desire to be separate.  I think I’m trying to approach Knowledge, but it says here Knowledge is my True Self.  My True Self is calling my little self to ItSelf.”  I’ve heard the little self called the ego, the concocted self, the secondary self, the constructed self, the imagined self, and so on.

Step 11 – I am not apart from life – “A recap of ACIM [A Course in Miracles].  The Separation is unreal, unhappy perception, does not exist.  We consider perception as reality, but reality is far happier.”  The perception which passes for reality is that we are not included in life, the reality is that I am not apart from life.

Step 12 – My individuality is to express life itself – “Just as the body is a communication tool, my individuality, my little self, is to express life.  Thinking about expressing breast milk.”  Let me explain.  Nursing mothers occasionally express milk to be consumed at a time when they’re not available.  In the same way, life is expressed through my individuality.  Thinking of the body as a communication tool is one of the sections of Chapter 8 of the Text of A Course in Miracles.

Step 13 – I want to be separate to be unique – “The price of Separation is infinitely higher than the payoff of uniqueness, or what ACIM calls specialness.”  Everyone is at a different station of separation or prodigality: some are headed for the far country, some are coming to their senses in the pig pen, some are on their way back to their father’s house.

Step 14 – Review “As far as I know, I did the Steps as given.  I can so see myself in my mind’s eye moderating a group of people who are at various stages of Steps.”  This hasn’t happened yet.  I am not an early adopter by temperament, neither do I have a history of early adoption, but I believe I am an early adopter of Steps to Knowledge.

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.

Oh, What Did You See?

“Oh, what did you see, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, what did you see, my darling young one?
I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it
I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it
I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin’
I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin’
I saw a white ladder all covered with water
I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken
I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children
And it’s a hard, and it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
And it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall”

Bob Dylan – A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall

Step 14 of Steps to Knowledge is a review of all the previous lessons.  (Someone wondered, “Including the Step 7 Review?”  Yes.).  A new component which is being introduced is the examination of one’s practice, and the examination of the results of one’s practice.  Did I have a preference or an aversion for a particular practice?  Did I follow the directions as given, or did I fudge and smudge them?  What happened as a result of my practice?  On the one hand, I believe I followed the directions as given when I did these steps.  On the other hand, it didn’t even occur to me to start writing anything down about my experience of a given step until I got to step 22.  I suppose you and I will just have to take my word for it.

Here is a word cloud of the first 13 steps.

I am amused that “KNOWLEDGE” and “assumptions” are on opposite ends of the cloud.  I see this cloud saying “If you want Knowledge, practice today, think today, understand today,” in much the same spirit as Kabir’s poem which opens with the line “O, FRIEND! hope for him whilst you live, know whilst you live, understand whilst you live, for in life deliverance abides.”

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Welcome to Mystery of Ascension! Добро пожаловать в Тайну просветления! We document the study of the New Message from God in general, and the book Steps to Knowledge in particular. Мы тут делимся своим опытом изучения Нового Послания от Бога, в общем, и книги Шаги к Знанию в частности. Find out more about us here. Узнайте больше о нас здесь. Find out how to contact us here. Узнайте, как связаться с нами здесь.